You got the Baby Blues….

baby blues

Let’s talk pregnancy! Now before you start scratching your head and saying hey, isn’t today Mental Health Monday don’t worry. You will see the connection shortly.

So for 10-months you carried your precious bundle of joy. You had a normal, safe delivery and now have a gorgeous baby. You should be happy but you are not. Why? Don’t worry, this does not mean that you are a bad mother. What you are going through is not uncommon. It is what is known as “Baby Blues” and should subside a few weeks after birth. Some telltale signs that you may have the blues include,  anxiety, irritability, and weepiness. Think about it, your body just went through a huge ordeal. For almost a year, you were on hormone overload carrying new life and then poof, you are not carrying that load anymore. Your body is now changing and it has to play catch-up.

Medication is not necessary to treat baby blues. A little TLC should work just fine. Know that it is okay to cry. Hopefully, you have a support system. Your support system should know that you are not crazy. Their main role should be to just listen to you and encourage you.  You should also try to make time for yourself. Yes, you are a new mom and babies don’t care about your schedule. However, this is where your support system should come in. Even if it is only 20 minutes to practice some deep breathing exercises  make sure to make time for you. Not making time for yourself can cause your baby blues to postpartum depression (to be discussed at a later date).

There is no question that women rule the world. After all  we were the fair sex chosen to bring new life into the world. However, with that beautiful blessing sometimes our bodies tells us that we need a break. Baby Blues is one such way. After being pregnant and delivering a baby, you deserve a moment or two to regroup and breathe. Don’t worry you can get right back up and be woman to the rescue.

Today’s prescription: A good cry never hurt anyone. Everyone could benefit from shedding a tear or two. It is the weight of the world being released.

 

In health,

Maliyka is health

 

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Tick Tock: There goes that biological clock

 

As the person in charge of my Sorority’s Stork’s Nest I am responsible for facilitating the 1st session. Being a trained community health educator it is a walk in the park for me. Having recently partnered up with Harlem Hospitallocated in none other than Harlem, NY (for those that don’t know that is an area in Manhattan) we recently started our 2nd cohort on September 11th (how ironic). Now every time, I have facilitated a session, an interesting discussion has ensued. This time was no different.

I can proudly say that I am 32 years old. Not trying to brag but I look good. Aside from the weight that I could stand to lose (I’m losing it). My baby face has folks thinking that I am under 30 (not to long ago a woman told me I couldn’t come to a performance at a club because I wasn’t 21) quite often. The thing is, I don’t have any children. In my opinion and that of my mother that is not a bad thing. Coming from *drumroll* a mother who birthed 10 children and me being the oldest I just don’t feel the rush.

As always, when I facilitate the Stork’s Nest session, we talk about the basic things that people need to do while they are pregnant. We also talk about things that they need to look out for as well as what happens at each stage of their pregnancy in terms of development, doctor’s appointments and testing. The 11th was no different in terms of topics covered but the conversation add was enough to add another tick tock to tat dreaded biological clock. During our discussion about test like the amniocentesis I mentioned that unless there was a reason to think that there was a genetic disorder it really isn’t offered to you until you hit 35 years old when you are considered high risk. While discussing this, it came out that I was childless, 32 years old and not planning to have a child for at least 3 years. Doing the math for you, I would be 35 and as one of the women pointed out high risk. She’s right, I would but I am in no rush to move up my schedule.

I am at the age where a lot of my friends have children. This year alone, I have gained so many nieces and nephews via my friends that it’s hilarious. I promise you that I won’t remember any of their birthdays. Without fail, someone always insist that I need to have a child. My response to them is that I am too young. Out of 10 children, my mother only as 2 grandchildren and thankfully, she isn’t pressed for more. There is no question that, one day I do want to have children. I also understand that at 32 years of age having already lost about 90% of my eggs (keep in mind that women are born with all of the eggs that they will ever have) I may have increased difficulty in getting pregnant the longer I wait (ABC News) Honestly though, I am okay with that. Aging a child is a huge step and I know that I am not ready for it. It pisses me off when I ear of mothers throwing their baby in the trash like garbage. Aside from not getting pregnant there are other options. I am not worried that I may have difficulty in getting pregnant. If it is meant to be, it will happen. If not I will adopt. Articles like the one the New York Times put out don’t scare me. My ovaries may look older than my real age but so what. There are already to many people in the world using up resources that are becoming scarce such as water that one less person populating really isn’t a bad thing.

So yeah, after that conversation happened, my clock did tick tock a little louder but I politely hit the snooze button. I refuse to be ruled by the proverbial biological clock. This body belongs to me (God really loaned it to me but you get my point). No one has the right to tell me when I should get pregnant and even when they do I smile and say I am too young to have a baby. After all, I really am.

Today’s Prescription: when it comes to life changing events don’t rush. Granted you are not promised forever but that is not an excuse do things haphazardly. This applies to having children. Family planning is a lost art.

In health,
Maliyka is health