Why I won’t sign: Kaitlyn Hunt

Posted on May 23, 2013 by Maliyka A. Muhammad, MA, MPH

For several years, I have been a member of change.org, signing petitions. Some of the petitions have been questionable and did not deserve my support. However, I just pressed skip and kept it moving. Recently, a petition popped up and after reading it I had to shake my head.

Here is the thing, when it comes to homosexual relations, I really do not care. At this stage in my life, I feel that if you are happy with your lifestyles/choices/orientation so be it. My name is Maliyka A.A. Muhammad and my main concern is me. You want to get married….knock yourself out. I hear marriage is tiresome and puts you in a whole other tax bracket with Uncle Sam plus divorce rates are high for heterosexual couples. But hey, if that is what you want who am I to stand in your way. This society has bigger issues to deal with like stopping cancer in its tracks. Eliminating HIV/AIDS infections. Combatting childhood obesity. You know real superman issues. Determining who should or should not get married really doesn’t fall under that category. As my sister once said to me and I ran with it, “If you like it…I love it.” I am cool with a lot of people who choose to sleep with someone I wouldn’t ~~that goes for some of the opposite sex too~~. Some of these people are as close to me as my blood sisters. I have met their significant others. It is all love and then some.

Moving on to Kaitlyn Hunt. You can view the petition here or not. The short version is that Kate is a lesbian who recently turned 18. Her girlfriend is only 15 years of age. As soon as she turned 18, the girlfriends parents went and pressed charges claiming that Kat turned the gay. Kate has been charged with “lewd and lascivious battery on a child 12–16 years of age.” Now do I think that the parents are…WACK…LAME…CORNY…A CORNBALL…basically a non-factor…yep sure do. Do I think that Assistant State Attorney is perpetuating a parents disgust at their child’s lifestyle…absolutely. However, that does not take away from the fact that Kate committed a crime. The fact remains that the girlfriend, is not of the legal age consent. Regardless of how unrealistic it is, Kate was supposed to break it off with her girlfriend the minute that she turned 18. And in truth, her parents should have been parents instead of her friend and warned her of the potential consequences. If they did well than as my grandmother would say, “A hard head make a sore behind.” If they did not…shame one them. As a parent sometimes you end up being the bad guy…deal with it. I know I appreciate my mother for all of her bad guy moments. It was one of her bad guy moments. Go figure him and her evenetually broke-up ~~for other reasons~~ thank GOD.

While I am in favor of equality and I do agree with Bridget Crawford’s perspective, which can be read here , the fact remains that Kate did in fact commit a crime. Two wrongs do not make a right. 18 year old boys who have a 15 year old girlfriend should be charged and in many cases they are especially if the girl is white and the boyfriend is black and live in some backwater town.

I was once a young girl, and I had a boyfriend who definitely belonged under the jail given our age difference. Things like statutory rape were not in our vocabulary. At least not in mine. As an adult, I think about how selfish that decision was and am grateful that no one ever got arrested on my behalf. Funny thing is that, in my younger brother’s case my mother let his little girlfriend know that he could indeed go to jail for dating him. Although, he was mad at me I had to let him know that she was correct.

As the battle for equality comes to head with same-sex marriage being legalized in so many states real conversatiion need to be had. No means no even if she is a girl/boy just like you. The legal age of consent in almost all states is 17. If you are older than 17 and they are not, it is statutory rape. Domestic violence is wrong regardless of who are sleeping with. Same-sex relationship do not mean that a relationship is going to be easy. Even these relationships have their ups and down. Unfortunately, even in love there are consequences. This happens to be one of those Romeo & Juliet ones. I wish Kate luck in her legal battle. While I do believe that the punishment is indeed extreme and prejudicial, the fact remains that she was wrong. Ignorance of the law is not an excuse.

Words of Wisdom: “I believe that we are solely responsible for our choices, and we have to accept the consequences of every deed, word, and thought throughout our lifetime” ~Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

In health,
Maliyka

Giving is good for your health: The “Help Robinson” Cause

Posted on May 2, 2013 by Maliyka A. Muhammad, MA, MPH

Now if you are following me, then you know that I ENJOY community service. When I accepted an award back in January, a part of my acceptance speech was, “To whom much is given, much is required.” I live my life in service and fellowship with those who have the same belief when it comes to SERVICE!

The principle of service is so near and dear to me that it is my focus for today’s post. In honor of man-up Thursday I salute Rob Robinson! Rob, is an elementary school teacher where I rest my head every night, the Bedford Stuyvesant section of Brooklyn. Over the years, Bed Stuy has had its ups and downs. It went from being a crackhead’s haven and no one wanting to come in to a gentrified dwelling and everyone rushing in to snap up its historical brownstone. Here’s the thing, gentrification doesn’t benefit everyone. As a matter of fact, gentrification tends to push out people. The people who were there when crack vials and needles littered the streets are not considered when gentrification takes root. Rob teaches the children who gentrification would seek to cast aside.

Knowing this and holding steadfast to the Igbo and Yoruba Proverb, “It takes a whole village to raise a child,” Rob has made it his mission to make sure that the young ladies experience what some of them seem to believe is a but a dream never to come true. This man is on a mission to take the young ladies in his class plus a young lady in foster care and one who recently loss her mother to the American Girls store in NYC. This is what I call a REAL man. He cares for home and heart as well as others!

I don’t know about you, but in a way I was privileged. We didn’t have much but I know that I had more than some of these young ladies even begin to imagine that they can have. How can I not support their dream? How can I not share their dream with others. I hope that you find it in your heart to make their dream come true. These children come from struggling backgrounds. There is no way that their mothers could begin to put out the dollar amount necessary for them to go to the American Girl store. Now I wouldn’t ask you if I haven’t done so already to give to this cause. It is indeed a worthy cause. Children deserve to grow old on special moments. I know I have. With that being said, I hope that you find it in your big generous hearts to give to the “Help Robinson” cause. Believe it or not, there really is a health benefit to of giving! If you don’t believe me click here to read all about it.

Words of Wisdom: “One knee does not bring up a child.” ~Tanzanian Proverb

In health,

Maliyka

Do you need Plan B…

Posted on May 1, 2013 by Maliyka A. Muhammad, MA, MPH

The morning after pill and I are intimately acquainted. I am sure that it is acquaintance of a lot of women. Both of my experiences happened when I was over the age of 18 and did not have to worry about the pesky issue of parental consent. One of my experiences was way before they made “Plan B,” rather they gave me a pack of birth control pills and told me to take half of the pack almost in a hr interval ~~or something like that~~. The second time around it was less pills but the result was the same…nausea being one of them. The difference between the first and last time I needed to stop something before it started, I had to go to a health provider. The second time, it was to my local pharmacist.

First things first, what exactly is the morning after pill or Plan B as it is now called. For all the lost and confused, don’t make up stories. It is not the same thing as the abortion pill. If you are pregnant unfortunately it won’t work. The morning after pill works by delaying ovulation ~~when sperm meets egg~~ by preventing the sperm from reaching the egg. Depending on the type of pill, thickening of the cervical mucus may occur. That is it. Mystery solved.

A few years ago, legislation was put in place to make the morning after bill available over-the-counter. The catch, you had to prove that you were age 17 or older. Recently, a Federal judge ruled against the age limit going so far as to blast the Obama administration stating that, “It had let election-year politics trump science and were making it hard for women of any age to obtain emergency contraception in time for it to work.” As a result of the ruling, the morning after pill will now be able to girls/women 15 years and older. The FDA has a mnonth to make it happen and it looks like they are making ithappen.

That’s great news right? Perhaps. While there is nothing wrong with giving a 15-year-old control over her body ~~afterall a long time ago she would have been a married woman by that age~~ she must also be responsible. The morning after pill should not be used as a form of birth control. It should not give one license to engage in risky behaviors. If the morning after pill is not taken within the window time period more than likely it will not work. Even if it is taken in the window period it may not work. This is no miracle pill. It an emergency option for an unplanned situation. Yes young people have sex. That is clear given that teenage pregnancies occur. However, most of these teenagers really do not understand the consequences involved with having sex.

So yes while I see no issue with making the pill available to those who are considered to be legal adults, I need adults to understand that conversations must be had with our young people. We must take our heads out of the sand and stop denying that they are having sex. They are and sometimes more than grown people. We all know about abstinence. Most adults actually see the benefits even though they love sex ~~you can raise your hand~~ and some will even admit that they should have waited. These babies may have women parts but they don’t really understand how said parts work. For them sex is something to do. It is really more than that. It is emotions, heartache, headache, frustration, etc. It is devastation, accidents, incurable diseases, nine months later. So while the morning after pill is available to even more girls/women than before, lets not delude ourselves into thinking that a problem does not exist. It does and until we are honest with ourselves that issue will remain.

Words of wisdom: “Sex: the thing that takes up the least amount of time and causes the most amount of trouble.” ~John Barrymore

In health,

Maliyka